my heart is worn out
"LET THE STORY CHANGE. LET THE STORY CHANGE YOU". Elizabeth Cunningham
STORIES....
Some stories heal.
Some stories harm.
But all we are - all we have, are our stories...
"In a way humans are not made of skin and bone as much as we are made of stories." Sue Monk Kidd
What we tell ourselves is what defines us.
Our story is who we are.
"Knowing that we are made up not of atoms, but of love and stories, is
also vital. When we die, what’s left is love in the form of stories." Patty Digh.
The story that defines you the most might be one in which you were an unwilling participant, a villan, or a hero.
It might be one which you did not write.
It might be one in which you have no power, or too much power... where you make all the decisions or none of the decisions....
but beleive me stories define you.
BUT THERE IS NOTHING MORE SURE THAN THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A STORY THAT DRIVES YOUR LIFE.
Now, for all you Right brain types out there who are saying "BAH! A story won't do that - faerytales and all that crap just don't make the kind of difference i want to see" let me tell you a little of my story
I am a daughter to a Pharmacist and a nurse. Science was valued as an achievement above everything in our house.
Trouble was I had an imagination the size of Africa (and inhabited with as many animals!) I had a storyteller for a Grandad who filled me with a sense of magic and wonder and my heart longed for stories - I became an avid reader and this gave me solace. But my imagination got me into trouble. I was a weirdo. I remember the day (as about an 8 year old) where I realised I had to step away from my imagination. All my gifts were seen as distractions and sidelines and liabilities.
I developed stories about how I was incapable of anything creative. About how worthiness only came from science and self sacrifice and how living in a way that connected to my imagination was wrong and selfish. I adopted the "if you can't measure it it isn't real, study it, get A's and then it will be better" way of being in the world. Oh I know the right brain landscape alright....
I became a nurse. I worked with people with profound intellectual and physical disabilities. I gave every little bit I had (and then went to the emotional bank for more). I tried to science my way out of all of the hard stuff, but it didn't work. I failed. I left my house and family and partner of 7 years and ran away to the other side of the world. I had a little breakdown (now to be known as the breakthrough).
I was blessed in my "breakthrough" to find a counsellor who suggested I write a story.... I started with images of a big machine that could only be kept going by feeding in little peices of my heart (i know, gross) but it began a healing deep inside me....
and then I found "Women who run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pincola Estes.
She spoonfed my broken heart with nourishment of story. She talked about the way that kind of language can heal..
"Like night dreams stories often use symbolic language... travelling straight to the spirit and soul, listening for the ancient and universal soul instruction embedded there. Because of this process stories can teach, correct errors, lighten the heart and the darkness, provide psychic shelter, assist in transformation and heal wounds"
Clarissa Pincola Estes. The Gift of Story.
As I heard myself talk in counselling, to trusted friends, about my heartaches. Listening to others. I kept seeing over and over and over - it was all stories ...
I realised that what I told myself did not have to be "true".
Each participant in the stories had different perspectives (my parents were truely trying to help me "get ahead", for example). Depending on who was telling the story it was different. Depending on what day the story was told it was different. But those stories were what made sense of the world for me.
So I listened to stories.
I told stories.
I read stories.
And as that story-nourishment began to feed the loneliest parts of me, the avid faerytale reader in me began to reimagine stories.
Stories where I didn't succumb to the flesheating monster, but was victorious. I got to choose who had the invisibility cloak, who had the sharp sword, who had the glass slippers and the happy ending.
I told stories where I had a secret store of wisdom which helped me find my way. Stories where I got to walk a different path and find the gold...
New stories ...TRIUMPHANT STORIES.
I began to use stories in my own life to change patterns and preconceptions, calm my fear gremlin, and bring about a deep happiness
Yes, that is right - I fixed stuff by just listening to a different story.
Now this is very important (that is why it is red and huge)
IT IS NOT ABOUT LYING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED - NOT SWEEPING IT UNDER THE CARPET, OR PUTTING A LICK OF PAINT OVER IT - IT IS ABOUT TELLING THE DEEPER TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AND TELLING THE STORY FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE.
"Sometimes it just takes a shift in perspective to help us see the world a little differently...."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer. What we ache for.
Sometimes all we need is the chance to see ouselves inside a different possibility and then change starts to happen.
I know this stuff works.
I am living proof.
"STORIES ARE MEDICINE... THE REMEDIES FOR REPAIR OR RECLAMATION OF ANY LOST PSYCHIC DRIVE ARE CONTAINED IN STORIES. "
"STORIES SET THE INNER LIFE INTO MOTION, AND THIS IS PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT WHERE THE INNER LIFE IS FRIGHTENED, WEDGED OR CORNERED." Clarissa Pincola Estes. Women who run with the Wolves.
I AM TRUSTING THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE THE WISEST PART OF YOU IS SAYING "THERE MAY BE ANOTHER WAY TO SEE THIS".
Some stories harm.
But all we are - all we have, are our stories...
"In a way humans are not made of skin and bone as much as we are made of stories." Sue Monk Kidd
What we tell ourselves is what defines us.
Our story is who we are.
"Knowing that we are made up not of atoms, but of love and stories, is
also vital. When we die, what’s left is love in the form of stories." Patty Digh.
The story that defines you the most might be one in which you were an unwilling participant, a villan, or a hero.
It might be one which you did not write.
It might be one in which you have no power, or too much power... where you make all the decisions or none of the decisions....
but beleive me stories define you.
BUT THERE IS NOTHING MORE SURE THAN THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE A STORY THAT DRIVES YOUR LIFE.
Now, for all you Right brain types out there who are saying "BAH! A story won't do that - faerytales and all that crap just don't make the kind of difference i want to see" let me tell you a little of my story
I am a daughter to a Pharmacist and a nurse. Science was valued as an achievement above everything in our house.
Trouble was I had an imagination the size of Africa (and inhabited with as many animals!) I had a storyteller for a Grandad who filled me with a sense of magic and wonder and my heart longed for stories - I became an avid reader and this gave me solace. But my imagination got me into trouble. I was a weirdo. I remember the day (as about an 8 year old) where I realised I had to step away from my imagination. All my gifts were seen as distractions and sidelines and liabilities.
I developed stories about how I was incapable of anything creative. About how worthiness only came from science and self sacrifice and how living in a way that connected to my imagination was wrong and selfish. I adopted the "if you can't measure it it isn't real, study it, get A's and then it will be better" way of being in the world. Oh I know the right brain landscape alright....
I became a nurse. I worked with people with profound intellectual and physical disabilities. I gave every little bit I had (and then went to the emotional bank for more). I tried to science my way out of all of the hard stuff, but it didn't work. I failed. I left my house and family and partner of 7 years and ran away to the other side of the world. I had a little breakdown (now to be known as the breakthrough).
I was blessed in my "breakthrough" to find a counsellor who suggested I write a story.... I started with images of a big machine that could only be kept going by feeding in little peices of my heart (i know, gross) but it began a healing deep inside me....
and then I found "Women who run with the Wolves" by Clarissa Pincola Estes.
She spoonfed my broken heart with nourishment of story. She talked about the way that kind of language can heal..
"Like night dreams stories often use symbolic language... travelling straight to the spirit and soul, listening for the ancient and universal soul instruction embedded there. Because of this process stories can teach, correct errors, lighten the heart and the darkness, provide psychic shelter, assist in transformation and heal wounds"
Clarissa Pincola Estes. The Gift of Story.
As I heard myself talk in counselling, to trusted friends, about my heartaches. Listening to others. I kept seeing over and over and over - it was all stories ...
I realised that what I told myself did not have to be "true".
Each participant in the stories had different perspectives (my parents were truely trying to help me "get ahead", for example). Depending on who was telling the story it was different. Depending on what day the story was told it was different. But those stories were what made sense of the world for me.
So I listened to stories.
I told stories.
I read stories.
And as that story-nourishment began to feed the loneliest parts of me, the avid faerytale reader in me began to reimagine stories.
Stories where I didn't succumb to the flesheating monster, but was victorious. I got to choose who had the invisibility cloak, who had the sharp sword, who had the glass slippers and the happy ending.
I told stories where I had a secret store of wisdom which helped me find my way. Stories where I got to walk a different path and find the gold...
New stories ...TRIUMPHANT STORIES.
I began to use stories in my own life to change patterns and preconceptions, calm my fear gremlin, and bring about a deep happiness
Yes, that is right - I fixed stuff by just listening to a different story.
Now this is very important (that is why it is red and huge)
IT IS NOT ABOUT LYING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED - NOT SWEEPING IT UNDER THE CARPET, OR PUTTING A LICK OF PAINT OVER IT - IT IS ABOUT TELLING THE DEEPER TRUTH OF WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF AND TELLING THE STORY FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE.
"Sometimes it just takes a shift in perspective to help us see the world a little differently...."
Oriah Mountain Dreamer. What we ache for.
Sometimes all we need is the chance to see ouselves inside a different possibility and then change starts to happen.
I know this stuff works.
I am living proof.
"STORIES ARE MEDICINE... THE REMEDIES FOR REPAIR OR RECLAMATION OF ANY LOST PSYCHIC DRIVE ARE CONTAINED IN STORIES. "
"STORIES SET THE INNER LIFE INTO MOTION, AND THIS IS PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT WHERE THE INNER LIFE IS FRIGHTENED, WEDGED OR CORNERED." Clarissa Pincola Estes. Women who run with the Wolves.
I AM TRUSTING THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE THE WISEST PART OF YOU IS SAYING "THERE MAY BE ANOTHER WAY TO SEE THIS".
